Christmas This Year.

 This year it is just Pop and I for Xmas.  I haven't been doing much in the way of sewing or crafting.  Really I am not in the Xmas spirit.  We put the tree up cause that is what Pop wanted.

I made my usually Cookies and Fudge and I tried Egg Nog for the first time.  It was ok.  It has to much nutmeg in it for me.

  Oatmeal Raisin   - no salt added

Chocolate Chip   - no salt added

 Fudge

Xmas is low key this year.  I am missing my mom and how xmas used to be.  I have been told you can't keep thinking on the past, my mind wanders back to how much fun and family the holiday Season was when I was younger.  It was always busy and abuzz with cooking and planning and family.  And there was always the family dysfunction.  Sometimes I even miss the arguments and strife.  I guess my Momma was the reason for the Season, without her it is hard to have the Holidays just for 2.

I will try for my Pop.  Merry Christmas to all and Happy New Year.

New venture begins today

Today I took a big step to make something of all the things Pop and I have that we don't need anymore.  Monday I signed up with a consignment shop.  Today Pop and I took some of the Blue dishes to the shop.  I cleaned them, priced them and let them go. 

For those who are close to me know how hard it is for me to let go of things that belonged to my mother, so this was a really big step. 

A little background history on these dishes.  When I was 5 we lived in upstate New York.  My mom bought these dishes in the grocery store.  She bought enough dishes to complete a service of 20 individual place settings with 9 pieces in each setting.  In addition to that she also bought all the serving pieces 2x over. 
We have been carting these dishes around since 1975.  We only ever sat down to dinner once with them for a Christmas dinner in the mid 1980's. 

Since we have downsized it is time to really let go of stuff.  Pop n I moved to 933 square foot apt and the money will go great for a new TV or trip.  Also  I am going to put some of my craft work and art work out for sale in the future.  The price for the consignment space is affordable so might as well gamble with a good outcome.

Wish us luck.  I will post pictures and keep you updated as we sell something :)

OMG, You have got to be kidding me!!!!

I use a site called Ravelry.com every now and then to keep track of my knitting and crocheting projects.  I lost the password and my email wont accept any from this site.  So per the help chat all I can do is sign up for email I don't use on a regular basis and start all over.  I think that is ridiculous. Sometimes things happen, but I am typing on a machine.  It is not rocket science, have a human send me a real email and the info will get pushed thru.  If not what is the point of having a sight that has you stored info and patterns as well as personal pictures and it is just lost to cyberspace?  That is my anti technology point.  I am so mad and frustrated.  I have been at this for about an hour and a half and all I am doing is getting more frustrated by the minute.  It makes me not want to use the site at all.  If my info is lost,  all I can do is hope that I was smart enough to have paper, YES I SAID PAPER, copies of my patterns somewhere and just move on.  Ravelry was this great thing I discovered 2 years ago that was gonna help me cut back on clutter and make it easy for me to store patterns.  Well look where I am now.  It is coming upon the holiday and I wanted to work on a project and now I can't access the pattern because I have to start all over again.  Happy freaking holiday to me.

Long week, Yard Sale OMG! It is hard to compete with Seafair and Waling days

I spent all week taking stuff to storage with the help of Pop.  Sorting thru boxes was ok till I came upon some of the boxes unsorted from my mom's room.  I kept moving thru (didn't sort hers yet).  I borrowed a friends push up canopy and with ours I used a giant tarp and made a great space to put out all the stuff for the yard sale.  Grand total from yesterday and today in sale, $7.25, experience exhausting, goal closer to being achieved price less.

 I am going to have another yard sale next weekend with more signs.  Fingers crossed we do better, not so much competition I hope.  What ever doesn't sell has to go, so either way I am downsizing.  Would be good to get some money back on all the stuff but it is better to get rid of it.

Pre packing and getting ready for yard sale next weekend

My Pop and I are downsizing and eventually moving to less square footage.  I have a lot of art and craft stuff and clothes, as well as still down sizing from when my mom passed away 9 years ago this august.  It is hard for me to part with stuff because there are memories there.  Things hold feelings for me and that is hard to let go of them especially when the closeness I had with my siblings as a child is now gone as an adult.  Things brings me back to a happier time in my mind.

I need to look to the future for me and Pop.  All this stuff also just weighs me down and makes it hard to move forward.  Also think of all the dollars I will get for getting rid of stuff.  Got to put an upside on it, it hurt less that way.

Pop is taping up boxes and I will be going thru the sewing room with the books.  Yes I have books, lots of books.  No I am not getting rid of all of them.   I am willing to part with some.  Sometimes they sell good at yard sales, sometimes not.  My books are the embodiment of my mom.  She could devour 400 pages in a couple of hours and remember weeks later what she read.  This is where the moving on part gets harder. 

So I will keep you posted (ha ha) as to the progress of this endeavor and who knows maybe some good crafting can come from this as well.  I am stalled again.  Really just overwhelmed, but I "keep putting one foot in front of  the other and soon I will be walking out the door."

Bees continued......

I called the Property mmgt. company where we live yesterday and the exterminator came out this morning.  Very quick, professional and polite.  2 days to wait to see if they go away.

Pestilence, Floods and ?

I believe in something other than myself.  I am challenged every day with my own beliefs, so suffice it to say that it is enough I believe in something.  Today I decided it was time to get back on the lawn mowing horse and work on the yard.  Boy did I have a surprise in store for me. 



All I can say is "BEES". 

 I was not stung, and I wouldn't be bothered by them except they are within less than five feet of the front door.  Oh and Pop is allergic to them. So that is my pestilence. 

The flooding is when I use the washer, water comes back up the drain.  Good thing I put a drip pan underneath when we moved in 3+ years ago.  It is just ironic how things start to fall apart right when you decide to move.  I was dragging my feet, but not know.

Know I am "buzzing" along, lol.  If I don't laugh I am going to cry myself into a nervous break down.
Oh and I still have a lot of stuff to pack and get rid of and no extra hands on deck except my own. Sometimes I feel like my wheels are going, I just don't have any traction or momentum and I am in reverse.  Ya know what I mean.

Welcome Home Big Brother:)

Just a short note on utter happiness.  My brother who is 4 years older than me is finally home.  He has been away for awhile and we haven't really had  a chance to talk in over a year due to where his job was at.  To understand why I was so happy to hear his voice that I cried, you should first know that we used to fight like cats n dogs.  Growing up together had many challenges and disappointments. 

In 2002  I had a chance to take a vacation to his home and we forgave each other for all past incidents.  I wont call them mistakes because they made me stronger and a better person for having gone thru some of the situations.  Also my brothers story is his to tell not mine, that is why I am being nonspecific.  He may be many miles away but he is there for me as best he can and I couldn't ask for anything better.

WELCOME HOME, MY BROTHER.  WELCOME HOME!

Knowing your priorities and being willing to step up to meet them.

I just read a really great blog Post from sewdangcutecrafts.  The author is putting blogging on hold to be more accountable and responsible for her family.  I think that is very inspiring.  As women, most of us try to do everything all the time.  For me it is just not possible.  I admire this blogger for having the courage to say what she can and can't do and be willing to stick with what is right for her, not at the expense of others or her family.

So you say it's my Birthday?

Happy Birthday to me.  It has really been a birthday week.  My poppa has been singing happy Bday to me all week long so he wouldn't forget.  My sister and nephew took me out to eat on Sunday.  I spent some time with my friend Lettie yesterday crafting.  We are also going out for a girls night on Thursday.  Karpe  Birthday. 

My Bday is bitter sweet because I miss my momma.  She will have been gone for 10 years this Aug.  I don't know where the time has gone.  Pop and I have done alright.  Probably better than she thought we would have, lol. 

This was my mom when she was just 20ish, 1951.

So what now?

So my last post was a little "oh, feeling sorry for myself.  Its was Easter and no family stuff to do."
Today's post is not about that.  Sure I do feel that way sometimes.  I think everyone does.  I can't really complain to my dad, he will want to fix it and their is nothing really wrong.  I am a girl complaining about situations is what I do.  The official term is "VENTING".  Yeah I could call up a good friend and do that but instead I choice to put it out into the universe of the blog cause I just wanted to "VENT".  No response or resolution is required.

Today it is a beautiful day.  The sun is warm and shining and even the air is warm.  Spring may have finally sprung. 

Just as I will be springing off to goodwill yet again.  I never thought I could get tired of good will.  Pop likes to go for exercise and we go about 3x a week.  It is a good thing we live in an area where there are 3 to choose from.

So till later.

What really matters.

I have always believed that family always came first and should matter more than your friends.  I don’t believe that any more.  I come from a large family and everyone has gone their separate ways and done their separate things.  I believed that we would all come back together.  We have not.  Some of us have but most have not.  The reasons are vast and dysfunctional as most families today.  Some siblings are dead, some are mad at me for things I don’t even know what, some are in another state.

Please don’t miss understand, I do have relationships with some of my siblings, but still what I had as a family unit growing up is not what I have now. 

Growing up the house was full, I am one of 7.  There was always some one doing something or going somewhere or playing jokes on someone. 

Now it is really quiet.  It is just me and my step dad every day.  When I was young I thought my life would be full of kids, family, noise, mess and that that was what loving each other was all about being in each others lives and sharing.  I have learned that from my  good friends Lettie and Cassandra.

As tomorrow is Easter, I have reflected on my situation and I have since had a revelation,  Life is like a school dance.  Everyone attends but not everyone wants to be there or participate.   Well I want to participate.  Hell I want to dance all night long and for as long as I can.  Like all dances there are rules of etiquette. 

The rules are simple.

 

Be willing

Wow I still have a Blog, It has been so long I almost forgot.

Sorry it has been so long since I last wrote.  Pop came home from hospital and we got better from the flu.  The Snow melted and life moved forward.  I haven't really been on the computer very much in the last couple of months.  It has taken a while to get our new routine down. 

In the am it is BP, weigh in and BS, breakfast and breathing treatment.  Then off to the Sr. Center. 
Lunch is low maintenance and watching The Chew. 
Then we go to Goodwill or somewhere so Pop can exercise and stretch his legs. (mostly goodwill).
Lol, we have been so many times I am kind of tired of Goodwill.
Then it is dinner and BP, medicine and shot.  Then evening tv, maybe some chores.  Not much, but it keeps Pop going.

I helped my friend Lettie with a Baby shower.  I made a really cute name sign for the Baby and did the party favors.  It was fun.  I took a whole bunch of pictures.  I am grateful to my friend Cassandra.  She came and stayed with Pop so I could go to the shower. 

That is about it.

 I found this really great sewing kit for a bunny Easter basket and am making that.  I am almost finished, I just need to sew the bunnies together and attach the pieces together.

Oh, I am gonna be a great aunt again.  Trying not to get to excited cause they are gonna move across the country probably by the summer.  Everyone's life moves forward.  I am just here with Pop hanging out.  Feeling a little sorry for myself.  It feels like everyone else in the family gets to make a family for themselves and move forward, I am here at home taking care of Pop. 

Pop came Home:) Then “THE FLU”

I was able to bring Pop home on the 17th before all the snow fell.  I was able to get his medicine and get home.  We went to bed and I woke up at 2:30 am doing what you do when you have the stomach flu.  I was not anything pretty let me tell you. 

I decided to come sleep on the couch and guess what Pop had the flu to. 

We spent all of Wednesday sleeping on and off.  In the morning I was lucky enough to get ahold of a Group Health nurse to talk about Pops medicine cause he lost almost 10lb of water weight in 1 day and that is dangerous for someone who has BP up and down like Pop.  I always joke he is a delicate flower and he really is.  Everything is a balance between what he puts in his mouth and how his medicine works. 

Most of the time it is like having a tiger by the tail, he feels good and wants to eat and do everything like normal, but his body sais no by having his BP act crazy. 

It is a good thing I have been at this for a while and have some good sense.

I am feeling better, that flu was one of the worst I have had in probably 15 years.  I hope I don’t get anything like that again. 

Trying to not get excited, Tomorrow could be the day Pop comes Home

Last night was kind of difficult and the 1st half of the day not so good either.  Pop just can’t tolerate too much heat.  The room he was moved into must have been closed to 80 degrees. He got not sleep and had a terrible night. 

They swapped him with someone else and I turned the fan on him and he passed right out.  I think he is somewhat dehydrated to. He slept on/off for most of the day.  He was a little bit confused but I think that had to do with dehydration.  I was able to get him to have a snack and he ate his dinner before I left, those are all good things.  We are one more step closer to leaving. 

If everything is ok and his BP stays good and he is up and  a round when the dr. comes tomorrow.  Fingers crossed he will be at home this time tomorrow

Start of week 2, but really week 3 since problem Began.

Tonight my Poppa is resting in a different room in the hospital, on a different floor.  His BP is coming down, know his blood chemistry stuff is going a little wonky due to medicine.

I try so hard to be a trooper and behave like everything is ok, cause if I am ok my Poppa will be ok to.  I just don’t always feel ok on the inside.

It is funny yesterday, I went to visit him early and left for lunch and to run some errands because he was sleeping.  I didn’t know what to do with myself because I have not had to decide how to just fill my needs.   I always squeeze what I need into what I have to accomplish for Pop that I never think about what I could want. Some people would think that is crazy, but that is how I love and take care of my Poppa. He is the beginning, middle and end of my day.

He has some dementia issues so I am not able/willing to leave him home alone longer than a couple of hours by himself and to be honest I would rather take him with me.  We are a team.  A very heavily one sided team, but we are a team and I may get worn out sometimes and irritated because I forget he is 71 has had 5 heart attacks and a whole bunch of other medical problems in the last few years, he is still my dad and still tries to tell me what to do cause he thinks I am his little girl.  We are a fine pair.  I digress.

I am hoping that tomorrow everything will be good and I can bring him home and we can move past this.  Everyday he gets stronger.  He is good tempered and is trying very hard to have a good attitude about the whole thing. It is hard for him he is the one stuck in the hospital.

The cats both miss him.  Pop’s cats name is Tic and supposedly my cat, her name is Lily.  Lily gives me the dirtiest looks when I come home and Pop is not with me.  Tic she cries for her Poppa and sits, sleeps on his bed when I am home.  She also does their normal bed time routine.  I try to comfort her and pet her but I am not her Poppa

Hospital Chronicles, day 9, I think.

So My dad has been back in the Hospital since Monday.  This all started last Tuesday when his congestive heart failure backed up his lungs and irritated his COPD.  They dried him out, he went home on that Thursday.  He was great number wise on Friday, but his mucus membrane was really dried out.  The Dr.s off said not to give him one of his water pills.

But it was too late, Saturday morning he was to dried out and his BP was in the dumper and I had to call 911.  So back to the hospital he went.  The EMT did a great job bringing his BP back because the whole  time he was in on Saturday his BP was normal and everything looked good, so they sent him home.  Sunday he was fine, felt good.

So we come to Monday and once again is BP is bad and I have to call 911 and they take him to the hospital.  He has been there ever since and his BP is all over the place.  Also, I can never seem to be there when the dr. rounds, but it is ok.  Hopefully we will have some good news today and maybe he can go home tomorrow. 

All I care about it my Poppa being better and all the money and stuff will just have to be worked out later.  I can’t stress out about 3 hospital rides or his copays for being in the hospital.  I have a little high BP  to so I have to keep it together.  Besides if I fall apart who will be steering this crazy life boat me and pop are floating along on.

Oh 2012 you started out so good!

So Last night I had to take my dad to the ER cause he couldn’t breathe.  We haven’t had to go to the ER for 1 1/2 years.  Not so bad.  My dad   has lots of things wrong with him.  His BP was thru the roof n he had not slept in 2 days and he was hot all over.  It wasn’t to bad as far as experiences go.  We have had worse experiences with going to the hospital.

It is funny a lot of times I just want to be alone and now that he is there and I am here, I miss him.  The cats miss him.  I have so many chores I could get done, I am so exhausted.  I think I have only slept 4 hours between this morning and this afternoon.  I am not to freaked out by the whole going to the ER cause we have done it enough times I know what to say n do and how to make sure things are good with the nurses, cause they do the caretaking.  I just want him to be ok and come home.  I would never admit it to him he drives me crazy but I miss my Papa.

I will try to post again after he comes home about this,  I just forget that things were tough when they go back to normal.  I suppose things are that way for a lot of people.