Tonight my Poppa is resting in a different room in the hospital, on a different floor. His BP is coming down, know his blood chemistry stuff is going a little wonky due to medicine.
I try so hard to be a trooper and behave like everything is ok, cause if I am ok my Poppa will be ok to. I just don’t always feel ok on the inside.
It is funny yesterday, I went to visit him early and left for lunch and to run some errands because he was sleeping. I didn’t know what to do with myself because I have not had to decide how to just fill my needs. I always squeeze what I need into what I have to accomplish for Pop that I never think about what I could want. Some people would think that is crazy, but that is how I love and take care of my Poppa. He is the beginning, middle and end of my day.
He has some dementia issues so I am not able/willing to leave him home alone longer than a couple of hours by himself and to be honest I would rather take him with me. We are a team. A very heavily one sided team, but we are a team and I may get worn out sometimes and irritated because I forget he is 71 has had 5 heart attacks and a whole bunch of other medical problems in the last few years, he is still my dad and still tries to tell me what to do cause he thinks I am his little girl. We are a fine pair. I digress.
I am hoping that tomorrow everything will be good and I can bring him home and we can move past this. Everyday he gets stronger. He is good tempered and is trying very hard to have a good attitude about the whole thing. It is hard for him he is the one stuck in the hospital.
The cats both miss him. Pop’s cats name is Tic and supposedly my cat, her name is Lily. Lily gives me the dirtiest looks when I come home and Pop is not with me. Tic she cries for her Poppa and sits, sleeps on his bed when I am home. She also does their normal bed time routine. I try to comfort her and pet her but I am not her Poppa
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