It’s been a while.

What to say.  I haven’t really written anything here for quite a while.  I stopped writing cause I got busy, I forgot, Pop got sicker.  All kinds of things.  I had an audience of 1.  Or maybe it just seemed not helpful.

Why did I start blogging?  I was lonely and wanted to talk, but not meet people.  Sounds funny, I know.  It was true.  Being a caretaker for my Dad  takes everything out of me.  I wont say that it is the way for all caretakers, that would be arrogant.  It is how it is for me.  2017 makes it 14 years this August that it has been me and my dad on our own.  I think my mom would have thought we had crashed and burned by now.  Ha Ha.  You had to know my Momma.  She was the epitome of control.  Anyway I digress. 

My Pop and I have been through a lot of health issues mostly on his part and some on mine.  We go thru economic troubles, psychological struggles, and just regular father daughter issues.  I stand strong.  I say “I” cause I am the one who props my Poppa up when he gets scared. I am the one who reassures him everything will be ok and work out.  He tries his best to do that for me.  I am appreciative of his effort, but it is not the same coming from a father.

It was my Momma’s responsibility to teach me to be strong, fearless, tactful and polite. You see that is what my Momma taught me.   Please don’t think I am discounting the things my Poppa has taught me and still teaches me, I am not.  It is all this talk of gender issues and equality floating around . 

Who is to decide who is equal.  All people should be paid what they are worth based on their skill and ability, not there gender, race or marital partner .  So why do we have rules/laws about it in this enlightened age of 2017?  Where does this teaching of inequality really come from? Also the unspoken sense of superiority/marginalization come from?  Aren’t these the questions we should be focusing on?  Find the root of the problem and rip it out some would say.  Others would say cokes it along until it decides to do the right thing?

I don’t know.  I was born in the 70’s,  now most people think they were a “Golden Age” in a sense.  We played outside as children, we didn’t have computers or cell phones and we did ok.  Is this just rose colored nostalgia and that is why so many think that they have it so good/bad.

Once again I have to say “I don’t know”. When I was in college working on my B.A. I was involved in a program called “Environmental studies”.  One of the topics we discussed was “The tragedy of the commons”.   This is an economic problem in which every individual tries to reap the greatest benefit from a given resource. As the demand for the resource overwhelms the supply, every individual who consumes an additional unit directly harms others who can no longer enjoy the benefits.

I disagreed with one of the Instructors because I naively thought that given the right motivation this would not make the commons “collapse”.  I admit I was wrong.  Living in the United States in 2017 and watching “us” as a nation implode over resources, politics, inequality, gender and race proves this economic theory to be sound.  And that makes my heart weep, my head ache and my soul pine for the greater good that once stood for what it meant to be an American.

Having said all this what am I to do?  Tomorrow I will get up and be who I am and what I believe.  I will be kind as always to those who are not, I will care about my neighbor even if they don’t care about me.  I will try harder to share what little I have with those who have nothing.  I will do what I can, when I can , for whomever I can. 


Why you ask? Because the “tragedy of the commons” is not an option for me.  For me, the “tragedy of the commons” is knowing it is happening and watching so many people in the US choose to not change to stop this “tragedy”.  In my opinion, that is the true tragedy.